Your Whoop/Bloop Etiquette Guide
It’s evident that when we pile into the large, metal, rectangular prisms of discomfort that are the CATA buses, many Penn Staters believe all forms of civility are lost.
Push literally comes to shove, and in the hurry to make it to the next stop, riders forget that by jostling others and sprinting past the driver as soon as the door opens, they’re actually slowing everyone down.
Thankfully, we have created this etiquette guide to remind you that manners are always the most important thing when it comes to campus transportation.
1. Wait two seconds after the bus doors open to enter the bus.
We know how badly you want to get on the bus, but hold your horses. Instead of barging headfirst into anyone who may be trying to exit through the front of the bus, try waiting just a few seconds after the doors open before you proceed. That way, you won’t have to step back off the bus to let everyone out, and you can avoid looking like a self-absorbed asshole. Everyone wins.
2. Don’t get on through the back doors.
We live in a society, and in this society, there are rules. You can’t just get on through whichever door you please. The back door is an exit only. Treat it as such.
3. Use your words
It may be really fun to shoulder and elbow your way past people on the bus, but it isn’t very polite. We know that someone told you at some point in your life to use your words, so this is just a reminder that a simple “excuse me, pardon me, thank you” can go a long way.
4. Move back.
If you’ve ever been on a crowded Loop, chances are you’ve heard the bus driver yell at people to move back. To save the drivers from straining their voices, let’s all get this through our heads now. When the bus is packed, keep moving back so others can get on, and the bus can leave in a timely fashion.
Speaking of not delaying the bus…
5. If you have an umbrella, let those without umbrellas board before you on rainy days.
Water is falling from the sky, so everyone and their mother is trying to get on a Loop. If you have an umbrella, then you came prepared for this — you should be walking instead of taking up precious bus space. At the very least, have the courtesy to allow all of the unprepared losers on the bus before you so they don’t have to get soaked waiting for the next one. You have an umbrella. You’ll stay dry.
6. Don’t hold up the bus.
It sucks being the last person left off of the bus when it is too crowded, but it doesn’t help anyone when you stand in front of the yellow line for five minutes, preventing the bus from leaving. It may be hard to believe, but other people on the bus also have places to be. Do not inconvenience them just because you can’t get on the bus. That isn’t very cash money of you.
7. Freshmen, stay off the damn bus.
Far too often have we watched freshmen pile onto the White Loop at East Halls and scramble off at the Visual Arts Building to get to Forum. You live on campus. It’s not even a ten-minute walk to get to Forum. We don’t care how cold it is or how late you are, just walk. There’s no reason you should be slowing down the bus, as you try to force your way on for two whole blocks (see No. 6).
8. Try not to get too pissed off when the drivers change shifts.
There’s nothing worse than having to sit on the bus for five extra minutes at a stop while a new driver prepares for his/her shift. It sucks, but it’s a part of life.
The drivers are just doing their jobs, and they’re doing us all a huge favor by transporting us around campus, so try not to get too upset when this happens. Also, sometimes they have to wait a little to even out the spacing of the buses on the route, which makes it better for all of us trying to catch a Loop. The next time you’re on a bus and it stays at a stop for more than a minute, just take a deep breath and relax. You’re on a bus, not in prison.
9. Enjoy your trip around campus.
It sure as hell beats walking.
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About the Author
We took a stab at predicting what Schreyer grads’ theses might be about.
From Arby’s to In-N-Out, the possibilities are endless.
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