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Author: Noah Simmons

About the Author

Noah Simmons

Noah is an International Politics major minoring in French. Noah participates in the Mock Trial team, the Sailing Team, and is the president/founder of the Odyssey of the Mind club. Besides pushing the limit of what is journalistically acceptable, Noah enjoys long walks on the beach and football. In a previous lifetime he was William Wallace

The Future Has Arrived!

According to a recent PennLive.com article, you may be able to buy wine at your local Wegmans, Weis, or Giant soon… kind of. The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board will soon allow supermarkets to provide their customers access to wine-vending machines. These machines will operate like any other vending machine, except a little more high-tech. Here’s […]

State College to Get New Area Code?

In a world with limited resources, global warming, and increasing doubt in everyday life, what is it that the State College area is running dangerously low on? Phone numbers. Yes, the community surrounding Penn State is running out of digits to follow their 814 prefix. Apparently the same problem has occurred in the 717 area […]

Some Things I Learned This Year…

I’m sure many of you checked your email yesterday and received this delightful gem from Penn State: Here’s the important things I learned from this video: 0:14 – This professor finally made friends this year 0:18 – “I’ll put the values of Penn State against any university in this country”. NUMBER 1 PARTY SCHOOL! WOOO! […]

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are…Ball Boys?

While the title of this article may not surprise some of you at all, the tendencies of one of Shakespeare’s most questionable duos is irrelevant to this article. What is significant, is that Penn State’s very own Jess Rosencranz, a telecommunications senior, has been selected as one of 10 ball girls for the Philadelphia Phillies […]

Homecoming Exec Committee Announced

Ah, it’s so nice to be back at school after a long summer and see…wait, is that snow outside? It’s not the beginning of the school year? Apparently, someone needs to let the homecoming folks know that, as they’ve already announced the executive board and are ready to get started planning. Well I applaud for […]

All Streaked Out

Penn State student Christopher Ferry is suing the university and multiple police officers. Why, you ask? I’ll give you a hint: it involves the Mifflin Streak (don’t know what this is? Check out our coverage from last year’s Streak). “Ah,” says you, “he must have been traumatized by the naked bodies, right?” No, that would […]

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