Onward State turns two today. If Onward State were a person, it would be capable of feeding itself. It could say small phrases. It could run. However, Onward State is not a person. If you did not know this, you are an idiot.
Onward State is a blog, one with over 3,000 posts and 5,000 comments. We're much more than that though.
A month ago, Onward State debuted the Community section as part of an effort to make our website a platform for readers to voice their opinions, share interesting stories, promote community events, or write about anything in the Penn State community that interested them. We’ve already had a great response, but we're missing one important element: you.
Hello my dear readers. Chase, your friendly Managing Editor, here.
In Onward State's never-ending quest for blogging excellence, we've decided to open the floor to the people of matter most, our readers, and ask for your suggestions on how you would like us to improve. I'm asking you to look deep down inside, down to what you care most about, critique your criticisms, and let us know what needs work.
Your suggestions can be about our website design, our Twitter and Facebook accounts, our level of snarkitude, our use of oxford commas... Anything is fair game.
So, my dear readers, I ask, "if you were in my position, how would you change Onward State?"
Tiger Woods, famous golfer, sports icon, and man whore will be coming to Eisenhower next week to speak to students about the dangers of 'sexting.' As everyone on the planet is aware, Woods was recently involved in a incredibly entertaining scandal, in which it came out that he had a multitude of mistresses and it ended with him attending a sex rehab clinic.
But Woods should know more than anyone that 'sexting' is a dangerous game to play, and that all information transmitted via the internet or cell phone can always be retraced and then shown on ESPN or CNN over and over again until your career is pretty much destroyed.
Penn State officials have said that Woods had made a few unorthodox demands. Find out what they are after the jump.
The UPUA announced today that they will be forming a new representative body within the Assembly, made up of both on and off-campus students that are known by their friends to be "champion drinkers." The initiative is the latest move by the UPUA to try to control the dangerous drinking habits of Penn State students. Recently, they found that oppression is not the answer, and thus they formed the committee in their attempts to assimilate those of the heavy drinking community into the student government. They will be responsible for representing the drunk mess students that plague the campus and invent drinking holidays.
The drinking culture of the student body has long gone underrepresented in the student government, and newly elected President Christian Ragland feels it's time to give those drunk bastards a voice.
More on this after the jump.
The results from an exhaustive CNN study have shown that State College's own College Avenue was deemed "Most Beautiful Street in America".
"It was a tough decision," said Steven Kroznyk, the CNN analyst who conducted the study, "But we've determined that no street in the United States can match State College's pristine beauty."
College Ave., which narrowly beat out several streets in both Detroit and Cleveland, is bringing great pride to the Penn State community. Martha Williamson, a sophomore in civil engineering, said, "It's really a wonderful looking street. I've heard that it's currently undergoing construction, but honestly, I can't even tell!"
More on these accolades after the jump.