PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

Graham Spanier Touches Penn State Community

Last week, Graham Spanier released (and subsequently blueballed us with) a preview of his State of the University address. After many sleepless nights and cold showers, the day finally arrived on Friday. Penn Staters everywhere awoke to an email from G-Span himself. Grab a clean pair of pants, and without further ado, the State of the University:

00:21 — If there’s one thing that gets me more excited than a G-Span video it’s…a series of G-Span videos.

00:56 — I like that the girl who says “unified” is standing by herself…in front of an empty field…with no one around.

01:32 — Oh G-Span, how do you get your hair-helmet to look so shimmery and perfect?

02:00 — If I had to pick one word to describe students in 2010 it would be…rabid.

02:22 — And the Princeton Review ranked us the third best party school. Just saying.

03:28 — Excessive alcohol consumption > national security issues.

04:18 — Chief Roberts– rename Beaver Stadium Paterno Stadium.

05:38 — Unequaled spirit in volleyball and fencing?

06:21 — AKA give us money! How else can we raise money? I like the idea of tuition increases.

Wow G-Span. Yet another shining example of why they pay you the big bucks. I couldn’t watch more than that first six and a half minutes, and anyone who can is more a man than I will ever be. Excuse me while I go change.

About the Author

Noah Simmons

Noah is an International Politics major minoring in French. Noah participates in the Mock Trial team, the Sailing Team, and is the president/founder of the Odyssey of the Mind club. Besides pushing the limit of what is journalistically acceptable, Noah enjoys long walks on the beach and football. In a previous lifetime he was William Wallace

Comments

More by Noah

The Future of Footwear Comes to Penn State

A new fad has hit Penn State, one that threatens to be greater than Pogs, Pokemon, and Yo-yos combined. They make you feel like Buzz Aldrin, and make Sketchers’ ShapeUps look conservative.  I’m referring, of course, to Kangoo Jumps (KJs). Already rumored to be featured on the Richard Simmons comeback exercise video (full disclosure: the author started this rumor…right now), Kangoo Jumps are taking State College by storm, in all their goofy glory.

Save the Boobs!

CATA Manager Gets Recognized

Athletics

Former Cal Swimmer Says She Emailed Sandy Barbour About Sexual Harassment Claims

Longtime Cal athletics employee Mohamed Muqtar was accused by seven former Golden Bears student-athletes of sexual violence and harassment dating back 20 years prior to his firing on May 11. An internal investigation from the school substantiated those claims.

Max Sauve Commits To Penn State Hockey

Penn State Women’s Volleyball Releases 2018 Schedule

Penn State Hoops Alumnus Joonas Suotamo’s Journey To Becoming Chewbacca Featured On ESPN’s ‘E:60’

Evaluating Tony Carr’s Performance At The 2018 NBA Draft Combine

Student Life

Penn State Love Stories: A Chance Meeting On A Service Trip

When Abby Wilt went on a service trip to Nassau, Bahamas, she had no idea she’d meet the love of her life.

10 Questions With 2019 Class Gift Director Tom Beeby

Career Services To Launch Integrated Career Management & Recruiting Platform

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

State Theatre Recognized As A State College Historic Site

As it approaches the 80th anniversary of its opening, the State Theatre has been recognized as a State College historic site.

Penn State Love Stories: A Chance Meeting On A Service Trip

When Abby Wilt went on a service trip to Nassau, Bahamas, she had no idea she’d meet the love of her life.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

10 Questions With 2019 Class Gift Director Tom Beeby

Tom Beeby will serve as the 2019 Class Gift Executive Director.

Send this to a friend