Graham Spanier Touches Penn State Community
Last week, Graham Spanier released (and subsequently blueballed us with) a preview of his State of the University address. After many sleepless nights and cold showers, the day finally arrived on Friday. Penn Staters everywhere awoke to an email from G-Span himself. Grab a clean pair of pants, and without further ado, the State of the University:
00:21 — If there’s one thing that gets me more excited than a G-Span video it’s…a series of G-Span videos.
00:56 — I like that the girl who says “unified” is standing by herself…in front of an empty field…with no one around.
01:32 — Oh G-Span, how do you get your hair-helmet to look so shimmery and perfect?
02:00 — If I had to pick one word to describe students in 2010 it would be…rabid.
02:22 — And the Princeton Review ranked us the third best party school. Just saying.
03:28 — Excessive alcohol consumption > national security issues.
04:18 — Chief Roberts– rename Beaver Stadium Paterno Stadium.
05:38 — Unequaled spirit in volleyball and fencing?
06:21 — AKA give us money! How else can we raise money? I like the idea of tuition increases.
Wow G-Span. Yet another shining example of why they pay you the big bucks. I couldn’t watch more than that first six and a half minutes, and anyone who can is more a man than I will ever be. Excuse me while I go change.
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The green phase’s loosened restrictions present a silver lining restaurants and bars desperately need these days.
“As student government leaders, we are entrusted by our constituents to foster safe and welcoming environments on our campuses for all students.”
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