I've been told that UPUA Elections are going on and I should care for some reason. I recently discovered that UPUA has set up an official spot to complain about Elections Code Violations. If there's one thing I like to do, it is complaining about things. Especially frivolous things that nobody honestly cares about. It sure sounds like an election to me!
In a shocking twist, Penn State will actually not be getting as much money as initially hoped from the state. Many rich people associated with the university consider this the end of the world and expect people other than themselves to suffer because of it. With the budget cuts looming on the horizon, it is very likely that the university will resort to drastic measures to make up for the losses. Remember, we’re only talking drastic here. Increasing tuition is the PSU administration equivalent of showering.
As most of you probably know, next week is Spring Break week. If you’re the typical hardworking Penn State student, you left last Friday.
Before saying goodbye to Penn State and paying hundreds of dollars to get drunk not in Pennsylvania, you should consider where exactly you want to go. Or more importantly, where you definitely DON’T want to go.
State Patty’s has become a phenomenon here at Happy Valley and has given Penn State a fake holiday to call its own. Perhaps someday it will join the ranks of other cherished fake holidays, such as National Talk like a Pirate Day and Arbor Day. As it turns out, we have a lot of competition in the college drinking event arena. Other colleges have been scheduling days to champion the increased rate of liver failure for a long time. But how do their Beermitsvahs compare to our own SPD?
When talking about what exactly the Entertainment Committee does for THON, I think it would be easier to list the things that they aren’t helping with. Entertainment Committee Overall Michael Fitzpatrick told me what this committee is all about and I pass that knowledge on to all of you.
One of the most well known aspects of THON is the championed group insomnia that is dancing for 46 hours straight. Essentially, it’s like watching "Twilight" with your girlfriend: It sounds like a great idea at first but midway through you’ll be physically and emotionally drained. At the end, you’re but a mockery of anything that represents human life and you probably smell. How does a person actually go about staying awake for 46 hours? I present to you my foolproof strategies on giving the finger to the Sandman during the THON festivities.